She can dance if she wants to!

I have always been fascinated with dancing, I unfortunately was not blessed with the gift of rhythm. My heart beats fast each time I see Captain Von Trapp and Maria dance the Lendler. I love watching Scarlett and Rhett spin around the dance floor, it wasn't even ruined when I learned that they are on a moving platform because Clark Gable couldn't dance. I have a few friends who have some of the sweetest dance moves and a certain grace as they dance that I am extremely jealous of - Andy & Alee I am talking about you! I was the little girl who always spun the opposite direction of everyone else. Shuffle ball change may as well be called wire this electrical outlet because I have no idea how either works. I always found myself doing some sort of weird bouncing at high school dances as an attempt to not draw attention to my lack of skill. I was in my early twenties before I came to the full realization that I was never going to be a ballerina, a rockette or even a square dancer and so I decided to embrace my dance "moves" and let them shine.

We were in the courtyard area after the Vegas market and we were swaying our hips when a crotchety old man walked by and said, "NO DANCING." Uh.....don't be such a weft old man, this is perfect place for dancing, rather obvious if you ask me. I am of the faith that dance parties can happen anywhere, and frankly should happen at least once a day. My friends and I had an impromptu shuttle bus dance party. It takes a certain commitment to your art to have a shuttle bus dance party, it is most helpful if you have a head rest to use as support and a bus driver that doubles as a DJ. I performed riverdance at Jam, and was told I was the only person to ever do riverdance there. My interpretation of riverdance would bring a tear to Michael Flatley's eye, tears of pure admiration for my skill and passion. I was alone in my store doing inventory reconciliation when "She works hard for the money" came on, I danced my heart out - I don't need an audience. My sister Jamie and I bonded when we both professed a love of Neil Diamond. We blared Neil's sweet jams over my parents sound system as we jumped/danced on the sofa - George & Nan - I am too old to ground now and I am sure that there is a statute of limitations on sofa jumping/dancing.

The key to regular dancing is to have an inner soundtrack - I usually hear one of two songs in my head. The Rolling Stones' Miss you or David Bowie's Golden Years. If you don't have your own inner soundtrack you are welcome to use mine until you find what inspires you. My only plans today are lunch with DaveCall, esq. Perhaps there is law office dance party in my future.

For the record we aren't arguing - he's never right

I recently had someone tell me that when DaveCall and I "fight" on Facebook it makes them uncomfortable. For the record we are not fighting, I am right and he is wrong. J/K (oh how I miss the simplicity of a good J/K, sigh, days gone by). Truthfully, if you see "disagreements" between DaveCall and myself on Facebook you should know the back story and know that we are solid, solid as a rrrockkk.

When we banter back and forth we are usually sitting at our dual laptops in the same room or even better sitting side by side on the sofa with our smart phones. The banter back and forth makes us laugh, both of us trying to out wit the other, and most of the time trying to shock the other. I am always laughing (mostly at myself) and he is usually shaking his head.

Just today I had a co worker tell me that DaveCall and I should have kids, her sole reason for us bringing a human in to the world was, and I quote "David is so cute, he would make a cute kid." I replied that sure DaveCall's offspring would be cute (my feelings were slightly hurt as it was DaveCall brining all the good looking genes to this offspring) but that they would be little shits in lab coats. My "concerns" didn't seem to worry her and why would they, she wouldn't have to raise our child. I am quite certain that my awesomeness mixed in with DaveCall would result in one of two types of children, Pinky or the Brain. If DaveCall and I "fight" on Facebook imagine what our combined genes would do to the soul of an offspring......we would most certainly have to name the kid Jeckel Hyde Smalls.

Little Red Corvette

Today I had the distinct pleasure of renewing my driver's license. In the fifteen years I have been driving I have had three licenses and each experience has been quite memorable.

I got my first license one week after my 16th birthday. I chose to wear my finest men's plaid shirt from the Gap. I also thought that the greatest hair I could achieve would be to blow dry my perm out and then use the actual iron to finish straightening it. It was a glorious photo, two thirds of it was hair and then a sliver of face and plaid. It was the old Utah green laminated licence and I couldn't wait to get the blue version that said adult. In my angst of having a green license I spelled my own name wrong when singing and had to shove an awkward "E" in to my middle name. It must have been destiny that spelling was not in the cards of this licence. I had had this licence for 4 years before I realized the DMV had spelled my last name wrong. I got pulled over and the cop was back in his car forever, finally he came back and said, "How do you pronounce your last name?" I had to stifle back laughter as I said, Smith, the traditional pronunciation. On my license my last name read SMTIH, I didn't get a ticket, but I did have to promise to go to the DMV and correct my records.

I went to the DMV to change SMTIH back to SMITH. The girl helping me asked if I was a natural redhead, I replied "Yes." She informed me that she had a thing for natural redheads, which I had already deduced as she had a redheaded woman tattooed on her arm. She said I couldn't handle her other redhead tattoos. After much badgering from my friend she informed us that she had a flaming "who-ha" tattooed on her chest. I was baffled as to why she didn't think I could handle that, was she not paying attention when I told her I was a natural redhead, I came with the factory flaming "who-ha" and not the after market addition she had.

It was my 21st birthday and I was in what is lovingly referred to as my "fine arts major stage." I once again thought a button down shirt would be ideal, but this time it was from the women's department. I layered it with a full length wrap sweater, big dark lips and big curly hair. I had wanted to tie a floral scarf around my neck, which became the staple of the fine arts look, but I didn't own one that matched my over sized amethyst earrings. I was so exited to have the blue adult license that I wasn't thinking when I put it in my pocket and sat on it, permanently creasing my license and irritating me to no end. I had this licence for 10 years. People have told me they prefer my hair short, people have told me growing it out was the best thing I have ever done, I've been told that it doesn't look like me unless I smile. This license has been with my throughout my twenties and I was rather sad to see it go, but it expires in a week and so to the DMV I went.

After two very dated photos I thought long and hard about what I should wear. I decided an aubergine boat neck shirt would be classic. The man taking the pictures was not happy and seemed irritated that I wanted to take my fur trimmed puffer coat off, but this was my moment, my hair was perfect, my outfit was well planned and I would not let his time schedule ruin my photo. FLASH and off I went. I filled out the final form, took a vision test, signed and dated the form, certified my information and was then handed my temporary licence. OH HOLY MOTHER!!! The picture is a close up of my chubby cheeks, my long red hair is hanging over my shoulders and all you can see is the top of my collarbone/breast plate - in other words, it looks like I am not wearing a shirt at all. Thank you universe, I had no idea you were such a fan of the button up. Wish me luck at bars and airports as this will be the decade of the Lady Godiva license.

I get by with a little help from my friends, I shoot my beverage out my nose with a little help from my friends

I have spent a large portion of my life feeling like I don't fit in. I am regularly told "You are so weird" it used to make me feel sad, but not anymore. I am who I am, and if I am "weird" to you well then suck it, weird is where the fun happens.

95/17ths

Today is mine and DaveCall's 95 month anniversary. Yep, that's right, we celebrate each month. Feel free to make gagging sounds, I would if I read this on someone else's blog. I liked DaveCall from the moment I met him, he made me laugh. People who knew both of us were baffled that Randi Smith and Dave Call (at this point his name was not the one word phenomenon it has become today) were dating. We are different in so many ways, but 95 months later here we are. I believe that our success has come down to a few key things - we love being together, we truly miss each other when we are apart, we know how to be apart, we can talk about anything, we appreciate the differences between us, we both want to make this work and most importantly one of us knows how to use the mute button.

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I have a friend going through some serious shiz in her marriage right now and it breaks my heart. How do people get to a point where they can be so unloving to the person who they chose to have matter most? I am not saying that DaveCall and I are perfect because some days I would love nothing more than to smother him with a pillow.* DaveCall is always kind, it is one of the top five thing I love most about him. He would go out of his way to help a friend, a stranger and even an overly demanding redhead.

I believe that each day we get to choose our attitude, no matter what life has in store for us. We were getting on a very crowded elevator and one woman started to direct us all. She said, "Welcome to the elevator, we are about to play elevator jenga so I am going to need everyone to fit together." Her attitude made a rather awkward situation light and airy. She had such a happiness in her voice, and showed kindness to everyone in the elevator, holding the door for each of us as we got off. It was a small simple act, but it made my day. We are all humans, we all have feelings and we all want to be loved for the unique people we are.

I believe that each day we make small choices that can add up to a lifetime of happiness or misery. I am so glad I made the choice to attend Monday Night Football at the Call's, it has brought me 95 months of happiness. DaveCall I look forward to the next 95!

*I realize that if DaveCall is ever actually smothered with a pillow the first person they will investigate will be me, and this post may come back to haunt me, but I believe in being honest and if I can go eight years without smothering him then I am pretty sure I can go the rest of my life without smothering him, that and I know some awesome defense attorneys.