1. When it is snowing I don't care if you honk, give me a dirty look, flip me off or tail me - I will continue to drive slow. Feel free to pass me in the wide open lane next to us. There is a reason the US Olympic Ski Team didn't pick the 1999 Honda Civic as their official vehicle.
2. If it is snowing/raining/dusk for the love of all that is holy turn your lights on. This is especially true if your car is white(snow storm) or silver/grey (rain/dusk).
3. Blinkers are not optional. If you are so inclined to come over in to my lane, please feel free to use your blinker to show me that you would like to be a part of my lane, I don't read minds I don't know your coming over.
4. Do NOT cut me off all balls to the wall style and the proceed to go ten under the speed limit....this just really sends mixed messages to me. It's like going to a bar in a low cut shirt and then being offended when some says, "Your knockers are off the charts."*
*Clearly no one has ever made mention of my hooters, otherwise I would have had a better line than "Your knockers are off the charts."
5. I must have trust issues. I have never once thought it would be a great idea to come from the Ft. Union on ramp and cut in one fluid motion all the way over to the fast lane all during rush hour traffic, and yet each morning some trusting soul believes that the rest of us will clear them a path to the fast lane, only have them do the same maneuver back over to get on to I-15.
6. I think the stick figure stickers on the back of your car are tacky. I think less of you if you have them. They don't actually look like your family. What happens when you get a divorce? Do you scrape the sticker of your SOB spouse off, or do you let me know they have the kids by time sharing the stickers as well? The odds are not in your favor, just don't do it....unless the sticker is one sad 30 something girl with 87 cat stickers. (Jess & Em this is for you).
7. My friend helped free someone who was stuck in a snow bank. He noticed she had 4WD, and asked why she wasn't using it. Her reply, "My husband keeps showing me how to use it, but I just can't remember what to do." Why does she have 4WD? Why is she even allowed to drive, this truly terrifies me. She is probably the same person who parks her overly ostentatious car in two prime spots at Fashion Place Mall - I loathe this type of human.
8. My birthday is in January, so I learned to drive in the snow. I am always thankful for two tips George shared with me. Always leave two car lengths between you and the stopped car in front of you and always start out in second gear - these tips prove handy time and time again.
9. Apply the rules of the road to driving your shopping cart. Drive your cart on the right side of the isle, look before pulling out in to the isle, don't park your cart in the middle of the isle and walk away, realize you are not the only cart in Costco, buckle your children in to the cart. I go to a very dark place in my soul when I have to push a cart at Costco. I consider it a personal win that I have never told someone to **** OFF for horrid cart driving, though I have thought it many times.
10. I wonder if Dale Earnhardt, prior to his death, was an awesome driver on the regular roads?
I love everything that just happened here. I feel like I may be saying that a lot all up on this blog. But it's true all the same. I don't even like to leave comments, but that fact that you do such great things forces me to.
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