Always say sofa dear, never say couch.

DaveCall are you two over two or three over three? Do you prefer tight backs or cushion backs? Do you like attached cushions or semi-attached cushions? This sofa will define us as couple - how do we pick? We is the keyword. How do you go from bulldozing over your significant other's feelings to coming to an agreement? Both of us are know what we like- both of us are good with design - but both of us can't agree. We both seem to hate the same things, but love very different things.

Making large purchases as a couple is tough. Either one person says "I don't care" and the other is left with the daunting task of trying to decide - and in this case it always overwhelms the decision maker, I have sold sofas for 16 years, trust me. Or both people want to decide but can never seem to agree, again I have sold sofas for 16 years and in that time have seen some of the most brilliant arguments between couples over furniture. So what do you do?

DaveCall and I are currently looking to buy a home together - yep kids, once again we are looking for a bank to legally bind us together. I figure if all my loved ones can't marry the person of their dreams then why should I? Plus DaveCall is fine and all for now, but what if I meet a sullen vampire in the schoolyard one day? Or Matt Hemsley finally pops the question? I hate to go to the post office, I can't imagine having to go to a courthouse and obtain a divorce. Don't try to tell me that vampires don't exist, they do. I've seen the documentary film Twilight. Second, don't tell me that it is pervy for me to be hanging out in a schoolyard, my vampire love is 117 years old, that is way more pervy than a 31 year old hanging out in the 'yard.

In the event that we do get married I would prefer to not have some flashy ring. I'm not saying that I want a KMart black hills gold special, but five $100 bands will do me just fine. If you are gasping right now, get over yourself. I can't imagine spending thousands of dollars on a ring that I will hate in five years. I have always loved a simple band and I always will. Also, a plus for the multiple inexpensive rings - 1) I lose everything, I don't always find it. I can leave one by the sink, one at work, one on the nightstand, one in the car and one in a secret place. 2) I am sure I will break some part of the ring, multiple times - I have been told that diamonds are incredibly durable, I am incredibly destructive. Incredibly destructive. You should pray that DaveCall and I never have a child. With DaveCall's desire to take things apart and my ability to destroy things, that child will probably spontaneously combust. You know what would be better than three months of DaveCall's salary spending its life on my finger?? A Costco sized bag of ring pops. That is even better that the 5 $100 bands! If I feel like my ring is too big and gaudy I can suck it down to a more appropriate size. If I chip it I can unwrap another one. Not only will people see that I am married but that I also like flavored hard candy - bam! Two awkward conversations out of the way. I would then take the savings from the ring pops vs the actual ring and use it towards a house (in this instance I am talking about one expensive ring, not $496.50).

Truth be told I don't really care for weddings. Sure I enjoy a good party, but I don't plan on having a wedding. Floral arrangements - pass. Fine China - nope. People staring at me as I walk down the isle - wouldn't everyone like to see DaveCall be walked down the isle by himself thirty years in the future (his dad)? I know I would enjoy that more. White dress - um, did you not catch the part about us living together - white seems tacky at this point. Love, honor and obey - doubts it. Showers - shoot me now. Bridesmaids? Good thing all my "sisters" are married - Bridesmatrons feels uncomfortable, and at this point if I have single friends aren't they old maids, perhaps they would wear a cat. * This old maid joke stems from someone telling me that at twenty-one I was an old maid for not yet being married. Bachelor Party - that would make me angry. Pictures - isn't that what your memories are for? Announcements - please see previous paragraph in which I tell you I hate the post office.

So back to looking at houses and making big purchases. I forgot where I was going with that....oh well.