The Quasimodo Olympics

I was never picked first, second or third for sports teams. As an adult I can avoid these sorts of settings, but I am quite certain that even now I would be picked last. I lack coordination; I fall up the stairs, I trip over nothing, I am exquisite at walking in to cocktail tables. I have never been able to do a proper cartwheel (Side note: I have, in my 30',s done a cartwheel in Caesar's Palace ). My Aunt Shelley and Uncles Greg and Bruce were awesome at just about everything. When I was just a wee ginger they would play games of all sorts for hours in Oma and Opa's backyard with me. I got frustrated because I couldn't do the things (such as cartwheels) that they could....and so The Quasimodo Olympics were born. You took gold in the Quasimodo Olympics by being the most spastic at something. I took gold time and time again.

Today as I walked across a windy campus I was doing my best to keep my dress down where it should be. As I held my dress, it made me think of "sports" I would like to see added to the Quasimodo Olympics. They are of course all "sports" I would score gold in.

Cue the bump, bump, bump, bump of the Olympic fanfare.....

I. Carrying a cocktail table down stairs, backwards, in heels. Gold Medal : Randi Smith of Team O-O-G.

II. Taking off my shoes, removing my belt, presenting my liquids, being felt up, carrying a boarding pass, redressing, and removing luggage from a moving conveyer belt. Gold Medal: Randi Smith of Team O-O-G.

III. Being a smart ass. Gold Medal: Randi Smith of Team O-O-G.

IV. Fake smoking an air cigarette. Gold Medal: Randi Smith of Team O-O-G.

V. Skipping. Gold Medal: Randi Smith of Team O-O-G.

You see, everyone has special hidden talents. Not all of them get you world recognition, but they are the simple and small things that make you you. If you read this, please let me know what event in the Quasimodo Olympics you take home the Gold Medal.